Winning in Life

January 25, 2023

I spent the past couple weeks helping someone prepare for their family law case. This is a highly stressful situation, because any small mistake could have catastrophic consequences on their finances. To make things worse, the legal system is extremely bureaucratic, and they mail out tons of requests and notices, ask for forms that aren’t required and change personnel on the case constantly. It can become a David vs Goliath situation in a big hurry.

Winning at All Cost

The court system was bad, but the other party in the case was even worse. She was extremely dishonest and underhanded. She filed a case without notifying the other party, so he had no idea there was even a case open. She lied on her income statements and other documents. She even went as far as hiding his name from the court calendar with white-out, hoping he would miss the hearing.

In the end, the underhanded Mom only received an extra $5 per week in child support. This outcome was more than fair, since the father paid more than the court ordered amount for the past 9 years. The look on her face when the judge announced the new support amount was priceless. She was furious she wasn’t able to get more money from the court and she stormed out in a rage. I’m sure she is still very bitter about it.

Losing What is Important

If you cheat someone in court or in business, but you lose your integrity or your reputation, you have made a very poor bargain. If you take advantage of someone who is kind and thoughtful, you may lose a friend and ally who could benefit your life. You don’t actually win when you lie, cheat or steal. You gain something trivial for the loss of something immensely more valuable. Selfish and dishonest people are often lonely, jealous and suspicious. They may receive a hollow victory from their ill-gotten gains, but this is nothing compared to what they lose.

The Real Winners

The real winners in life know the warmth of loving relationships and the peace of mind that comes from living an honest life. They have a tremendous sense of accomplishment from the prosperity they have created for their self and others. They have gratitude for everything they have received and are thankful for the wonderful people in their lives. They help others in any way possible and lift their friends up when one of them are down or in need. They are resilient and bounce back after any setback. They are positive, optimistic and believe in a bright future. They forgive easily and quickly shed any grudges and resentment. They give more in life than they take.

The Bottom Line

Nothing is a more accurate indicator of your integrity than how you treat others. Nothing is more crucial to your happiness than joyful relationships. Nothing is more beneficial to prosperity than a network of trusted friends.