Having Fun with Finances
Finances are a serious subject. There are recessions, debt, bail outs and stock market crashes on the news every day. So, I thought I would lighten things up a bit and have some fun with finances. Below are some jokes, quotes and cartoons I rounded up for your entertainment.
Fast Money Jokes
- A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
- The best way of saving money is to forget who you borrowed it from.
- If you work in a bank you’re not allowed to bring home samples.
- If bankers can count, how come they always have ten windows and two tellers?
- I’d like to try day trading. I’d start by trading Mondays for Saturdays.
- Did you hear about the investment banker who won the lottery? He was finally able to pay off his student loan.
Source: Source Jokes-Zone.net
Jokes about Being Broke
Terms & Definitions
- Bull: What your broker uses to explain why your mutual funds tanked last quarter
- Bear: What your brokerage account will be when you take a stock tip from your secretary
- Market Analyst: An expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today
- Long Term Investment : A short term investment that tanked
- Broker: A person who takes the subway to work and gives financial advice to someone who arrives in a limo
- Stock Split: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally between themselves
- Institutional Investor: A stock trader who’s now locked up in a nut house
Top 10 Signs You’re Broke
- American Express calls and says: “Leave home without it!”
- Your idea of fine dining is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant.
- You’re formulating a plan to rob the food bank.
- You finally clean your house, hoping to find change.
- You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.
- You give blood everyday – for the orange juice.
- McDonalds supplies you with all your kitchen condiments.
- You and your girlfriend got married just for the rice.
- Your bank called and asked for their calendar back.
- If you stopped on a dime, you’d probably owe it to someone.
Source: AhaJokes.com
Fun Money Quotes
“If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars.”
J. Paul Getty
“I love to go to Washington, if only to be nearer my money.”
Bob Hope
“I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.”
George Best
“We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed.”
Chris Rock
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.”
Jackie Mason
Source: BasicJokes.com
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I loved these, Bret.
One of my all-time faves: What’s the difference between men and government bonds? Answer: bonds mature.
Best,
Len
Len Penzo dot Com
Len,
I’m betting you first heard this joke from your wife and recycled it for the audience.
C’mon, be honest. 😉
LMAO, funny stuff