Finances are a serious subject. There are recessions, debt, bail outs and stock market crashes on the news every day. So, I thought I would lighten things up a bit and have some fun with finances. Below are some jokes, quotes and cartoons I rounded up for your entertainment.
Fast Money Jokes
- A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
- The best way of saving money is to forget who you borrowed it from.
- If you work in a bank you’re not allowed to bring home samples.
- If bankers can count, how come they always have ten windows and two tellers?
- I’d like to try day trading. I’d start by trading Mondays for Saturdays.
- Did you hear about the investment banker who won the lottery? He was finally able to pay off his student loan.
Source: Source Jokes-Zone.net
Jokes about Being Broke
Terms & Definitions
- Bull: What your broker uses to explain why your mutual funds tanked last quarter
- Bear: What your brokerage account will be when you take a stock tip from your secretary
- Market Analyst: An expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today
- Long Term Investment : A short term investment that tanked
- Broker: A person who takes the subway to work and gives financial advice to someone who arrives in a limo
- Stock Split: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally between themselves
- Institutional Investor: A stock trader who’s now locked up in a nut house
How Wall Street has Changed
Top 10 Signs You’re Broke
- American Express calls and says: “Leave home without it!”
- Your idea of fine dining is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant.
- You’re formulating a plan to rob the food bank.
- You finally clean your house, hoping to find change.
- You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.
- You give blood everyday – for the orange juice.
- McDonalds supplies you with all your kitchen condiments.
- You and your girlfriend got married just for the rice.
- Your bank called and asked for their calendar back.
- If you stopped on a dime, you’d probably owe it to someone.
Fun Money Quotes
“If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars.”
J. Paul Getty
“I love to go to Washington, if only to be nearer my money.”
“I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.”
“We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed.”
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.”