My Humble Beginnings

Image by Y

My first job was working for a company who pumped out cesspools and chemicals from local factories.  My paychecks said Inland Empire Waste, but the company was more commonly known as Stinky Inc.  They even had a logo of a skunk holding a flower on their trucks.  I’m not joking.  I couldn’t make this stuff up.  Anyway, I was only 16, so I wasn’t allowed to work near any chemicals or feces.  Basically, I was the “Yard Dog”.  I washed the trucks, trimmed the trees, assisted the mechanic and cleaned up after the Rottweiler Hercules.  On weekends, I would dig up cesspools.  The truck driver would find the lid on the box and I would dig it up.  As soon as I cleared the dirt off the lid, I would jump out of the hole and start digging on the next one while the driver drained the box.

For all of my hard work I made $3 per hour.  On a good day, I rode 20 miles and worked for eight hours to make $24 before taxes.  Even way back in 1980 this wasn’t a lot of money.  Most kids today wouldn’t clean their room for twenty bucks.  Back then, we hustled for every dollar we got.  Even though I realized it would take forever to get a car at the rate I was going, I didn’t care.  I knew it would happen and I was on my way.  Little did I know I was about to get laid off.  Work got slow and I was the low man on the totem pole.  The effort I put out made no difference.  It was a business decision to them, but it was very personal to me.

What I learned

Choose Jobs Wisely – One thing I figured out while I was digging holes for $3 per hour was that some jobs were much better than others.  So, for my next job I chose a union supermarket and showed up twice a week until they hired me.  I spent six months trying to get that job but it was worth it.  By the time I left five years later, I was making $12.35 per hour with full benefits.  That was a lot of money back in 1985.

Loyalty Works Both Ways - Getting laid off was a slap in the face to me.  I was very naive and I thought the company would appreciate all of my hard work.  It was a big eye-opener to realize it was all about profit and had very little to do with loyalty.  Most companies feel they can get someone else to do your job and they are usually right.  On the other hand, employees can usually get a better job, if the company doesn’t take care of them.  It works both ways.

Look for Opportunity – One good thing about manual labor is that it gives you plenty of time to think.  While I was digging holes, I realized I didn’t want to become a Pump Truck Driver.  Although I was happy to be employed, I knew it was a dead-end job and I didn’t see any future there.  Today, I read about a man in Ohio that started out working as a janitor in a factory and ended up owning the company.  Keep an open mind and always look for opportunity.  But, be realistic about your chances.

Protect Your Health – It’s one thing to be overworked, underpaid and unappreciated.  It’s quite another to get sick or injured on the job.  The drivers ran a heavy risk of catching hepatitis and other illnesses from pumping the waste.  They also worked around some very nasty chemicals.  Two drivers were killed in a crash on a mountain road when I worked there.  There is risk in everything, but the high risks at some jobs aren’t worth the paycheck.

Times have Changed

One thing I have noticed after working for the past 31 years is people seem less enthusiastic about employment.  From the kids who would rather play with their cell phones than help a customer, to the adults who would rather live on food stamps than punch a clock, people don’t seem as interested in getting and keeping a job.  At the same time, a lot of good paying jobs are disappearing and being replaced by low paying part-time jobs.

Here is what I see today:

• Teenagers seem apathetic towards working
• Young adults don’t feel obligated to pay their way
• Millions are happy to live on public assistance
• Working parents are burnt-out and lacking sleep
• The career path is no longer stable, even for Professionals

On a more positive note, people are paying much more attention to the work-life balance.  They don’t want to work long hours to climb the ladder or blindly move wherever the company transfers them.  Most kids have seen their parents overworked and then downsized a couple of times.  They don’t believe in loyalty to a company, because companies are no longer loyal to employees.  I know a number of people who were transferred across the country and then laid off.  Some of them had sold their houses.  I know a guy who moved across the state and his job was eliminated by the time he got there.  He had to pay all of his own moving expenses both ways.

The Bottom Line

The bottom line is that employment no longer offers any guarantees.  You effort towards success can turn a job into a dead-end or an opportunity.  Your attitude towards work can turn a job into drudgery or a blessing.

“The best preparation for good work tomorrow is to do good work today.”

Elbert Hubbard – American Writer and Philosopher

Recommended Reading

Bucksome Boomer - A Part-Time Job: The Secret to Success
Squirrelers - Keep Learning to Keep Making Money
Wealth Informatics – How to Negotiate Salary even in a Tough Economy

This post was featured on the Carnival of Personal Finance over at Sense to Save.  If you aren’t familiar with the Carnival of Personal Finance, you need to check it out.  It’s full of fascinating stories and great advice.

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The Hidden Costs

The costs of extras, accessories and upgrades really add up on any purchase.  In this case, I had already factored it in.  But, many people are taken by surprise by how much it costs to gear up for a new purchase.  For some items, like sports equipment and aquariums, there is more profit in the accessories than the item itself.  For other items, like houses and automobiles, the costs of insurance, operation and maintenance can be the budget killers.

The Justification

There are lots of ways to justify an extravagant purchase and most of them are bogus.  Some of the most obvious are the “I deserve it” or the “I got such a great deal”.  Advertisers and salespeople use these ploys to convince people to buy.  But, there were some legitimate justifications I had for buying the tools.

It will save me money -  Anyone who has read my blog knows I maintain my house and cars myself.  I take pride in doing it myself and I save the family a small fortune.  The amount of money I just spent on tools was about the same as most people pay for a brake job and a couple of oil changes.  Since we have two cars, two trucks, three motorcycles and an ATC, I can’t afford to pay the shop rates.  Plus, we are renovating our 38 year old house.

They will last a lifetime - I have been working with some of the same cheap Chinese tools that I bought in high school to work on my first car.  And, even though they still do work, they are shot.  Some tools are bent, some are stripped and some pieces are missing.  I started thinking about how many projects I completed with these tools over the past 30 years and I realized that the tools I buy now will probably last me the rest of my life.  Thirty years from now, I’m going to be too old to crawl under sinks and automobiles.

They will save me time and trouble - Four years ago, I was working on my daughter’s motorcycle and I stripped a screw with an old worn out screwdriver.  It set off a whole series of problems that cost me months of hassle and hundreds of dollars.  There is nothing like having the right tool for the job.  The new tools I bought were each chosen carefully over a couple of months.

The Lasting Value

When it comes to purchases, there are four kinds of things you can buy:

1. Things that increase in value – Investments & Real Assets
2. Things that that hold their value – Useful Items and Staples
3. Things that depreciate rapidly – Cars, Clothes & Electronics
4. Things that are gone immediately – Food, Fun & Vacations

The easy secret to financial success comes in buying more of the things that increase in value and avoiding more of the things that depreciate or disappear.  Most Americans need cars to get to work, but nobody needs a Ferrari.  People who can afford one shouldn’t feel bad about purchasing it.  Others, should avoid the temptation, unless they want to wind up broke in the future.  Athletes and entertainers are examples of people who blow through tons of money and have nothing to show for it.

Buying something with a long useful life ensures you will get a return from the purchase.  Consumer electronics are designed to become quickly obsolete to ensure a steady revenue stream for the manufacturer.  The wrenches in my toolbox will last a lot longer than the TV I just purchased.  My Blackberry is already obsolete and it’s only a year old.  The Androids and iPhones aren’t far behind.

The Bottom Line

The bottom line is that spending wisely on a purchase can often pay off in the long run.  Just be sure you know all of the hidden costs before you pull the trigger.

“Have thy tools ready. God will find thee work.”

Charles Kingsley – English priest and professor

Recommended Reading

DINKs Finance - Don’t get Ripped Off at the Garage
Bruce Bucks - Home Ownership Concerns
Broke Professionals – 7 Hidden Costs of Buying a New Car

This post was featured on the Carnival of Personal Finance over at The Jenny Pincher.  If you aren’t familiar with the Carnival of Personal Finance, you need to check it out.  It’s full of fascinating stories and great advice.

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I enjoyed giving the interview and I am truly honored to have been selected.

Credit Card Assist

There are a lot of financial tips and some of my personal background.

Click Here: Best of the Best Blogger Interview

I hope you enjoy reading it.

Bret

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Why Dreams are Critical

Image by Hamed Saber

The first step in any endeavor is a dream.  The dream is the seed of everything great ever accomplished by mankind.  Man dreamed of flight, great cities, space travel, electric light, radio, television, telephones and medical miracles.  It was only because of these dreams and the courageous few who pursued them that modern life became possible.  For those who have no dreams, life is limited to the mundane survival and existence.

I have a dream to one day escape the rat race and chart my own financial future.  I love my job and enjoy my profession.  But, I would like to have more control over my life, my time and my income.  I know this is a common dream and many have made it a reality.  Through hard work, vision and persistence, they have shaped their daily reality to match the essence of their dreams.

When we look off into the future, what we see is our dreams.

Why Reflection is Critical

Change happens quickly.  What used to take days, months and years now takes hours, minutes or seconds.  What worked for our parents and grandparents won’t always work for us.  That is why it’s so important to reflect on our actions to make sure they are still relevant.  What was once a sound plan may become impractical.  What was once the cutting edge may become obsolete.  If we don’t evaluate our direction constantly, we may end up on a path that leads nowhere.

Five years ago, I was evaluating my retirement plan and I realized it was vulnerable to low interest rates and stock market fluctuations.  The massive government debt is sure to keep interest rates low at the same time millions of baby boomers are starting to withdraw their savings from the stock market.  Speculation and derivatives are only going to make the stock market more volatile.  Since I was almost 20 years into my plan, it was a painful realization.  But, I still have 20 years until I retire and I have developed a new plan that is more secure.  Had I failed to visualize the flaws in my plan, I could have wound up with a pretty frugal retirement.

Reflection allows us to identify problems or mistakes and change course.

Why Goals are Critical

Without goals, dreams become idle musings and empty promises.  Life unfolds without a plan and people drift along, hoping for the best.  They are buffeted by the whims of fate, allowing others to determine their future.  Circumstances are blamed and excuses are made to compensate for the lack of resolve and direction.  Instead they should be charting their own course and realizing dreams on their own terms.

I have had a written set of goals since 1992.  This is when I first committed myself to starting a business, writing a book, buying a house, graduating college and becoming a millionaire.  Some of these goals were accomplished long ago.  Some goals are ongoing, with the milestones passing by.  Other goals were discarded, as priorities changed and they were replaced by new goals.  Throughout the process, these written goals held me accountable and forced me to evaluate my progress.

Goals set dreams in concrete and provide a road map for the future.

The Bottom Line

The bottom line is the power of visualization is vastly underrated.  Dreams can power the future, as reflection keeps people on course.  Goals provide the direction and confidence to succeed.

“Do not lose hold of your dreams or aspirations. For if you do, you may still exist but you have ceased to live.”

Henry David Thoreau – American Philosopher

Recommended Reading

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Squirrelers - Workplace Trends that Impact Us
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This post was featured on the Carnival of Personal Finance over at Stumble Forward.  If you aren’t familiar with the Carnival of Personal Finance, you need to check it out. It’s the greatest carnival on the net.

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Lessons from my Forefathers

Me & My Baby Daughter

On Father’s Day, I often think about the men who preceded me.  I come from a long line of staunch men, whose first priority has always been their families.  From my cowboy Grandpa who raised 9 kids from 3 families.  To my Dad, who raised 11 kids from two families in two countries.  To my step-dad who raised three daughters all by himself.  To my uncles who are like fathers to us.  To my brothers whose children are practically my own.

I never really had to ask a lot of questions about becoming a Dad.  The example was set long before I had children of my own.  The bar was high, the expectations obvious and the weight of responsibility heavy.  It was all very natural for me and I stepped into the role with confidence.  There was never a question of doing the right thing for my kids.  It was a matter of passing the wisdom and experience to the next generation to ensure their future success at parenting.

The Terrifying Uncertainty

One of the frightening things you learn about parenting is you really aren’t in control of teenage children.  You can punish and threaten them.  You can nag and embarrass them.  You can even make their life a living hell.  But, when it all comes down to it, they either choose to obey you or they don’t.  If you develop a solid relationship during their pre-teen years, you have a pretty good shot at happiness.  If you haven’t, you may be in for some tough times.

Another scary subject I am facing is have I prepared them for the future?  As one is headed off to college and the other is working, the reality sets in that they are going to have to earn a living in very difficult times.  And, I’m not going to be able do it for them.  It will be up to them to provide for themselves and their families.  Have all of the lessons and lectures been effective?  Will my example motivate them?  Are their educations sufficient?  Only time will tell.

Time Together is the Reward

All of the sacrifices I have made on behalf of my children pale in comparison to the time I have spent with them.  They don’t remember all of the late nights and weekends I worked to buy a house and send them to private school.  They don’t remember the expensive sports equipment and Christmas gifts.  What they clearly remember are the camping trips we took together every year, with all of their aunts, uncles and cousins.  They remember catching their first fish in the Sierras and watching hydro boat races on Mission Bay.  They remember the hunting trips and riding dirt bikes in the desert.  They remember all of the things we have done together, as a family.

One unique thing about our family is the generational bond.  When I watch my oldest brother take his grandchildren to the desert, I realize there are four generations camping together, laughing, talking, riding and carrying on.  There is no space or disconnect between the generations.  Our children feel just as comfortable with our aunts and uncles as they do with their own.  And, it’s because of the time we have spent together, over many years.

What the Future Holds

As I transition away from shaping my children’s future to creating one of our own, I am finding it easier to accept their choices and ability to govern their futures.  Mistakes will be made; choices will be unwise and consequences will be dealt with.  This is all part of life and learning for any young adult.  After all, I didn’t raise my kids to be like me.  I raised them to cover new ground and tackle new challenges.  I’m certain I won’t be disappointed.

Another thing I’m quite certain about is my kids will be great parents.  They both have a way with kids that is as natural as breathing.  And, they connect with children in a way that brings immediate trust and affection.  They were born with these qualities and our example has only reinforced them.  I am looking forward to the next generation.  I only hope it’s not too soon.

Happy Father’s Day to all of you Dads

The Bottom Line

The bottom line is that you only get one shot at being a parent and it’s not something you want to screw up.  It’s a job that comes with many pitfalls and few instructions.  The secret ingredients are time and caring.  Gratuitous praise and material comforts are optional.

“The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother”

John Wooden – The Wizard of Westwood

Recommended Reading

Anyone who enjoyed reading my Father’s Day post should definitely read Sandy’s post below about her Absentee Father and Kevin’s post on Nature Versus Nurture.  You won’t be disappointed.

Len Penzo - Black Coffee: Father’s Day Edition
Yes, I am Cheap – Don’t be an Absentee Father Like Mine
Financial Samurai - Helping Out a Father in Need
Invest it Wisely – Nature Versus Nurture

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To quote Dickens:

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness …” 

Charles Dickens – Tale of Two Cities

The Age of Foolishness

Me at age 21

I bought a sports car.

I had never carried any debt before I bought my Dodge Daytona.  This was my third car and I had paid cash for the first two.  Signing up for 4 years of payments was a totally new experience for me.  It was one I wasn’t prepared for.  Within a year, I was completely broke and the bills were due.  I remember trying to decide if I should pay rent and give back the car or keep my car and move back home.  I eventually paid all the bills and got back on track.  But, I never forgot that crushing feeling of debt.  The four years of car payments were so brutal I became wary of payments and kept the car for 13 years.  I haven’t had a car payment since.

I quit my job.

After taking some programming courses in college, I had an overwhelming urge to quit my boring union job and work in the computer industry.  So, I typed up a resume and got a job at the local ComputerLand store.  I kept both jobs for a month and then I quit my job at the supermarket.  Unfortunately, entry-level commission sales don’t pay nearly as well as the Hiring Manager leads you to believe.  Even worse, I wasn’t very good at sales.  I made only a fraction of what I expected and my income dropped precipitously.

I got a DUI.

This is something I’m not proud of.  But, there is a lesson in my foolishness.  So, I feel obligated to share.  After I turned 21, I liked to hit the night clubs with my friends.  Sometimes, I cruised home after a few too many and thankfully nobody got hurt.  Soon enough, the odds caught up with me and I got pulled over and hauled off to jail.  I ended up walking for six months, while my car sat parked and I made the payments.  I went to court, paid lawyers and attended alcohol school.  I also lost two of my friends in alcohol-related accidents, within a couple of years.  Drinking and driving isn’t worth the risk.

The Age of Wisdom

I started my first investment.

I had always been a good saver as a kid.  But, as an adult, I spent my money as fast as I earned it.  I lived paycheck-to-paycheck, drinking up most of my money on the weekends and scrimping by during the week to make it to Friday.  One day, a friend of mine called and he talked me into attending a meeting.  He was involved with a company called A.L. Williams (now Primerica).  I declined to join the company as an associate, but they did talk me into investing in a mutual fund.  It turned out to be a really bad investment and I was only saving $25 per month.  But, the important thing was that I got started investing.  From then on, I began to save a little bit of my paycheck for myself each month.  This habit grows more valuable every day.

I quit smoking pot.

There isn’t a whole lot that needs to be said here, except that I recognized it wasn’t benefitting me in any meaningful way.  So, I quit.  Quitting helped me tremendously in my focus on college.  It also seemed to help me in completing those important little tasks I let slide in the past.  It helped me in my career, as I transitioned into a technical job.  This was the first time in my life I realized I needed to do more than just work and party to get ahead.  As the smoke began to clear, I knew I needed to develop a plan for my life.

The Worst of Times

The combination of mistakes hit me all at once.  I could have easily survived one miscue, but three major money malfunctions were too much for my juvenile budget to absorb.  My flippant attitude and inexperience with finances delayed the reality of my situation, until it became a full-blown crisis.  By then, there were no quick and easy solutions to my problems.  I had to dig myself out of a big hole and it took a couple of years.

I quit my sales job and started working for my brother’s landscaping company, so I could count on a steady paycheck.  I didn’t have to commute to work, which helped with my driving situation.  But, I really didn’t want to be there.  It wasn’t the work I hated.  It was the fact that I had nowhere else to go.  I only hated mowing the lawns, because I failed to gain a foothold in the computer industry.  And, I had all day to think about it.

Six months later, I caught a break and got a job working in technical support for a printer company.  I answered the phone all day, facing a continuous series of baffling technical problems.  It was a high-stress job for low pay.  At least one or two people per day were either screaming into the phone or on the verge of tears.  But, I learned more about computers in the first couple of months than I could have learned in a couple of years of college.

The Best of Times

Two important things happened to me during the darkest of times. 

First, my worried mind was spinning a mile-a-minute, which brought about some important moments of clarity.  This made me realize I was the primary cause of my problems and also the best solution.  I started to think beyond payday and I changed my ways to avoid future problems.  I became stronger and more resourceful.  I counted on myself, instead of leaning on others.

Second, the people who cared about me sensed my desperation and they helped me in ways I didn’t expect.  Two people in particular had a huge impact.  My older brother, who was my boss and roommate at the time, can be extremely critical.  There was nowhere to hide from his lectures, which sliced through my excuses and exposed my habit of blaming others.  My downstairs neighbor comforted me with compassion, wisdom and understanding.  At the same time, she held me firmly accountable for my actions.

The Bottom Line

The bottom line is that tough times rarely last, but tough people do.  Most problems, whether self-inflicted or caused by circumstance, will often turn around.  The key is to think of solutions, instead of dwelling on problems.

“Although it’s not much fun to go through hard times, sometimes, they are the best thing for you.  They keep you from getting too cocky and from believing the times are always going to be good.”  (Paraphrased from memory)

Rhonda – Former neighbor and second Mom

Recommended Reading

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Squirrelers - Financial Goals and Life Choices
Invest it Wisely - My Changing Personality

This post was featured on the Carnival of Personal Finance over at Live Real Now.  This is the Greatest Carnival on the Net.  Check it out.

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Feeling Good was Good Enough for Me

Image by Ian Burt

Looking back at some of the toughest times in my life, I can honestly say that I was happy.  When I was 21 and very broke, I could survive a whole day on a hamburger and find beauty in the sunset, while I was surfing on an empty stomach.  I didn’t need any material goods to make me happy.  I was happy just to lay in the sun and have a roof over my head.

Obviously, my life got a little more complicated after I got married, had kids and bought a house.  But, I felt the same simple pleasure when I was laid off for six months in 2002.  I would sit on a bench at the beach eating a bean burrito and think about how lucky I was to be sitting in the sunshine.

The main difference between these two periods in my life is that I had money saved up the second time around.  So, I didn’t have to worry about how I was going to pay my bills or find my next meal.

Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz

This week, I was looking at motor homes on Craigslist.  I’m not ready to buy yet, so I was just dream shopping.  Anyway, I came across a beautiful Class A motor home that was for sale in a bankruptcy auction, along with a Mercedes 560 SL.  I thought it was a cruel twist of fate to lose everything in a bankruptcy auction.  But, that’s the risk people take when buying expensive items on credit.  Income can disappear quickly, while payments last for years.

It doesn’t really matter how much money people make or how many toys they buy.  If they continuously spend more than they earn, sooner or later, they will be headed for bankruptcy.  On the other hand, if they can afford some toys and experiences without going into debt, then why shouldn’t they enjoy them?  Life is short and happiness can be fleeting.

You Know you Got it, If it Makes you Feel Good

For me, happiness doesn’t come in a box or from store.  It doesn’t come with leather seats, Hi-Def or a swimming pool.  It comes from the freedom to do as I choose and the ability to live without worry.  The most important things in my life aren’t things all.  They are the people, places and experiences that brighten my life in countless ways.

Looking ahead, my fondest dream is to return to the simple happiness I felt as a young man.  That doesn’t mean I’m going to give up all of my possessions and live an idle life.  It means I’m going to pay off debt and save money, so I can enjoy my days without worry.  And, I am going to cultivate income streams that can’t be taken away by an angry boss or a fickle economy.  At least, that’s my dream for now.  I will keep you posted on my progress.

The Bottom Line

The bottom line is that saving a little bit of money right now could help avoid a whole lot of worry later on.  And, spending a little bit of time planning for the future could provide a life of peace and happiness.

“Don’t compromise yourself. It’s all you’ve got.”

Janis Joplin – American Blues Singer

Recommended Reading

Financial Samurai - A Little Inspiration Means so Much
Online Investing AI - Are Gadgets Better than Financial Freedom?
Live Richly - Advice to my 18 Year Old Self

This post was featured on the Carnival of Personal Finance over at Magical Penny. This week, I made the Editor’s Choice for my post.  Check it out.

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What is Prosopagnosia?

Image by D. Sharon Pruitt

Prosopagnosia is a condition which makes it difficult for some people to recognize faces.  Facial perception is impaired, but this doesn’t affect their ability to recognize other objects.  This condition affects roughly 2.5% of the population. 

My experience has been that I don’t have any trouble recognizing people I see a lot or others I am close to.  But, people I have met briefly or people who have changed their appearance can present some problems for me.  I also have trouble recognizing people who have aged, such as teenagers who have become adults. 

What it’s Like

It’s hard to describe this condition to someone who hasn’t experienced it.  It’s even harder to describe why it’s a problem.  But, when someone walks up to greet you and you can’t recognize them, it’s really embarrassing.  Often, it sends me into a panic, because I know this person, but I can’t recognize them.  The look on my face is a dead giveaway and they become confused.  There is no way to fake it or recover gracefully.  They think you have forgotten about them and it makes them feel like you don’t care. 

Before I learned about Prosopagnosia earlier this year, I thought I was losing my mind.  I thought I may have early indicators of dementia or some other form of degenerative mental problem.  Then, I remembered that I had this problem back in school as a child.  I remembered not recognizing a girl I had dated, after she changed her hair style.  And, she wasn’t too happy about it.  Unfortunately, it was just the beginning of my problems and it continues to haunt me to this day.

Why I’m Telling You

This is only the third time I have told anyone about my condition.  In fact, my immediately family doesn’t even know, including my wife and Mom.  Only two people know and that’s because I couldn’t recognize them and I had to explain why.  When I told them I had Prosopagnosia they seemed pretty doubtful it was really a condition.  I even emailed my co-worker a link so she would understand Prosopagnosia and why I couldn’t recognize her. 

Now that I understand my condition and am no longer embarrassed about it, I feel it’s time to bring it out in the open.  There are two reasons I want to share my experience.  First, I want to create awareness, in case you know someone who has it.  Second, I want to enlighten others who may have Prosopagnosia and not know about it.  Not knowing what was happening to me was the worst part.  I would love to save someone else the fear and embarrassment. 

The Bottom Line

The bottom line is that you can’t hide from problems in your life; you have to face them head on.  The first step in facing a problem is understanding what it is.  Once you know the cause, you are half way to solving the problem.  

“I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an exception.”  

Groucho Marx – American Actor and Comedian  

Recommended Reading

Lazy Man and Money - I have Prosopagnosia (and Personal Finance Links)
Medicine Online - Can’t recognize faces? It may be Prosopagnosia
Prosopagnosia Research Center - FaceBlind.org

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• How Secure is your Future?

”Twas the night before Christmas when all through the land, retailers were nervous and sales were at hand.  The shoppers were scurrying from store to store and their wallets were lighter as they walked out the door.  

The children were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of X-Box danced in their heads.  The parents were sleeping with troubled minds, while dreaming of time off from the daily grind.  

When out in the mailbox arose such a clatter, the credit card statements had gotten much fatter.  Away to the bank they drove with such force, to settle the bill with Christmas remorse.

I’m Dreaming of a Cash Christmas

Image by Emdot

This year, my goal was to pay cash (debit card) for all of my Christmas presents.  And, despite a series of unexpected expenses, I only put $30 on a credit card this month.  Citibank is probably wondering if I have been kidnapped by the Grinch.  I worked hard all year to pay down that card and I had no intention of ringing it back up.  Next year, the balance will be zero and so will the interest. 

Less is Definitely More

In the past couple of years, I have changed my Christmas spending habits.  I spend a lot less than I used to and everyone is fine with it.  We really don’t need any new toys and trinkets, so I cut back to one entertainment gift per kid.  Instead, I buy necessities, such as shoes and clothing.  My kids are becoming adults and they are starting to appreciate more practical gifts.  I also stopped trying to even the score by buying the exact same dollar amount per person.  If one person gets $20 more worth of presents than the other, they will never know or care.

It’s a Wonderful Life

It’s a Wonderful Life is a movie that shows how overwhelming misfortune can be turned into triumph, by faith in the goodness of mankind.

A couple of days ago, I sat down with my wife and told her what a great year it has been and how thankful I am.  I told her how lucky we are that I have a good job and we have a nice home.  I know so many people who are on the edge financially or they have lost their homes this year.  I have a good friend with an MBA who hasn’t had steady work for years.  And, I have another friend who had to move back in with his parents, after 20 years out on his own.   I hope for good fortune for my friends and others in the coming year.

Miracle on 34th Street 

Miracle on 34th Street is a movie that shows how the Christmas spirit can overcome the bustle and commercialism that tarnish this special day.  

My idea of the Christmas spirit is all of the wonderful holiday parties we attend this time of year.  I also cherish the phone calls, emails and Christmas cards from those we haven’t heard from in a while.  Every year, as I focus less on gifts and more on people and I find myself enjoying Christmas more.  The stress and fatigue I used to feel at this time of year has been replaced by gratitude.

The Bottom Line

The bottom line is that Christmas is about the birth of Christ.  It’s not about going into debt or impressing your neighbors.  Expensive and extravagant gifts are no substitute for sharing love and compassion with others.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.  

“Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts.”  

Janice Maeditere  

Recommended Reading

Len Penzo - Why I Love Christmas: From My Daughter, Nina
Out of Your Rut - The Real Meaning of Christmas
Money reasons - Presents for Family Adult Members

This post was featured on the Carnival of Personal Finance over at Blonde and Blanaced.  If you aren’t familiar with the Carnival of Personal Finance, you need to check it out. It’s the greatest carnival on the net.

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• No Diamonds or Cars this Christmas

There is no Perfect Choice

Whether couples choose to both work for a higher income or have someone stay at home to take care of the kids, there seems to be a lot of guilt that comes with that decision.  The choice is really as simple time vs. money for your family.  But, the effects on finances and lifestyle are anything but simple.  Most of the parents I talk to are wondering if they made the right decision to work or stay at home.  There is no guaranteed right answer, either way.

I had very personal reasons for choosing a traditional family lifestyle.  When I was young, my Mom stayed at home and took care of us.  Then, she took a part-time job to help out and she was gone more often.  After my parents divorced, my Mom worked full-time while putting herself through college.  So, I saw three different family situations and I knew all about the sacrifices involved.

When we decided to get married, I envisioned working together as a team. I wanted to divide up the work load and conquer what we were each best at.  My wife and I are both from big families and our family is our main priority.  We wanted to be successful, have a nice lifestyle and provide opportunities for our children, just like any family.  But, we didn’t want our kids coming home to an empty house after school let out.  We wanted to be more involved with their lives and to influence them to make good decisions.

Lifestyle Sacrifices

Supporting a family today costs a lot of money.  And, unless someone has a very high salary, raising kids on a single income will require sacrifices in their standard of living. The loss of a second income is partially offset by lower taxes, work-related costs and child care expenses.  But, there is definitely a drop in discretionary income and that can limit some of your options.

When we were starting out and my paycheck was very small, the reality of living on a single income was brutal.  We only had one car and could barely keep milk in the fridge.  Any small emergency clobbered our budget and ratcheted up our credit card balance.  Another problem was that we live in a very expensive area.  Even though our rent was cheap at the time, the cost to buy a house was way out of our reach.  We had all the basics covered, but there wasn’t any money for fun or entertainment.

Financial Strain

A couple of stressful things happened to our relationship, soon after getting married.  First, I began to resent my wife for being at home all day, while I worked long hours and weekends to pay our bills.  And, I resented the fact that we were still broke, even though I was working so hard to get ahead.  Even worse, my wife started to complain about how all our friends had nicer cars and apartments than us.  This wasn’t fair to me, because most of our friends were dual income and the wives were working to pay for those new cars.

The absolute low-point for me was when we had a house fall out of escrow.  The loan agent was shocked my wife didn’t work and we couldn’t qualify for a loan on my income alone.  As we were unpacking our dishes and putting them back away in our apartment, my wife said something devastating.  She said, “We’ll never get a house.  You don’t know what you are doing.  You are just acting like we’ll get a house because you are too cheap to spend any money.”  After saving for a house for almost ten years, it was the last thing I wanted to hear.

Making it Happen

After losing our escrow deposit and getting chewed out by my wife, I sat down in a moment of self-pity and dreamed about what it would be like if we had more money.  I thought about all of our plans and goals and I wondered why we were failing to reach them.  To the best of my abilities, I had done everything right.  I had worked hard, saved carefully and kept our expenses low.  I knew we were on the right path financially, but our goals seemed farther away than ever.

After a couple of hours going over everything in my mind, I came to a very unpleasant realization.  I was the sole cause of our failure.  We had chosen to live on a single income and it was my job to earn it.  Yet, I was concentrating all of my energy on scrimping and saving.  Soon after I realized this, I had a much more pleasant thought.  If I could increase our income to an acceptable wage, it would speed up the realization of all our goals.  And, it was up to me alone to step up and make it happen.  So, increasing our income became my new goal and it happened faster than I could have imagined.

Pulling Ahead

Two years later, we finally got our house.  It was a nice two-story house a couple of blocks from the beach.  Our friends seemed surprised we were able to afford the house.  They had seen us struggling to make ends meet, not realizing we were saving a lot of our income.  Most important, my wife gained a lot of confidence in me and my ability to make things happen.  Even though there were still plenty of tough times ahead, this was the beginning of a more prosperous life for us.  And, the rest of our goals seemed a lot closer.

Looking Back

Our kids are grown up now and our daughter will turn 18 in just a couple of months.  So, our legal responsibility as parents and control of our children’s lives is coming to an end.  Soon, they will be out on their own and struggling to pay their own bills.  We will never have to look back and wonder if we could have done more for our kids by having a second income, because money and material comfort weren’t that important.  It was the time we spent and the example we set of working hard to achieve a comfortable life.

The other half of the story was the impact this choice had on me.  There’s no question in my mind that I wouldn’t have worked nearly as hard, if I didn’t have the unrelenting pressures of providing for the entire family.  I probably would have worked just hard enough to get by and cruise through life.  All of the years of night school, the side jobs and working weekends, were for my family.  So, my family is a big part of the reason I became successful.

The Bottom Line

The bottom line is that there’s no single choice that’s right for everyone and someone else’s choice may not be right for you.  So, choose what you feel is best for your family.  Then, don’t waste a single minute feeling guilty.

“No matter what you’ve done for yourself or for humanity, if you can’t look back on having given love and attention to your own family, what have you really accomplished?”

Elbert Hubbard – American Author

Recommended Reading

Five Cent Nickel - Husband Cancels Life Insurance, Wife Divorces Husband
Len Penzo - Five Lessons from my Italian Father on Marriage and Money
Out of Your Rut - 10 Tips to Avoid Money Conflicts in Your Marriage

This post was featured on the Carnival of Personal Finance over at Consumerism Commentary. If you aren’t familiar with the Carnival of Personal Finance, you need to check it out.  It’s the premiere carnival for Finance Blogs.

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